A Friday rant

October 16, 2009 at 9:18 am | Posted in tantrums | Leave a comment
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f9f50af4-2cfd-4633-9b3b-b246ba86aa1bMy pre-schooler has officially driven me crazy this week. He had a reaction something at the weekend and the nursery didn’t want him in for his usual 3 sessions as the rash *could* be contagious. There is nothing wrong with him  at all so he’s been my lively, loud, energetic shadow all week – 24/7. Don’t get me wrong,  I enjoy his company, he’s a beautiful boy – funny, full of life and an absolute joy in most ways …… until he wants to do something himself and then his independent and totally irrational streak takes over. Some examples:

  • When getting dressed or undressed he must not be assisted. Even if he shouts “HELP! My head is stuck!” – you must not help his head through the hole. Helping him (even when his top is the last thing on) means he has to TAKE IT ALL OFF and start again. Not calmly and methodically, oh no – he’ll scream, cry real tears, turn red in the face and make the most pitifully unattractive face possible.
  • When baking a cake together, even though he KNOWS he can’t do the ‘oven bit’ and has been allowed to do almost everything else in his own way, failure to be allowed to touch the oven will result in a huge tantrum.
  • When reading a book together, he must turn the pages. If you so much as touch a page, another paddy will ensue (this gem lasted about half an hour!)
  • When getting into/out of the car he must not be touched for any reason. Even if he is about to fall when getting in – you MUST NOT save him. Touching him (saving him from falling) means the entire task has to be started from scratch – out of the car, back to the front door, walk back to the car, climb in without falling etc….

This last one has happened a few times this week, most recently in the supermarket car park in town, when it was raining and the baby was tired and grizzling too. I tried talking him down, reasoning (that one never seems to work), even the bribe of watching a DVD when we got home, but no – he had a total top-of-lungs screaming fit. By now we were all getting soaked, the baby was crying, I was feeling frazzled, and we were drawing a lot of attention. I picked him up and put him, kicking and struggling, into his car seat and strapped him in. To my absolute horror and embarrassment he started repeating “HELP ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!”  at the top of his voice . To several passers-by it probably looked like an abduction. I did the only thing I could do – smiled at them, and got away from there as soon as I could.

Mother in law, of all people, happened to witness one of these outbursts. “Have you tried getting down to his level and talking to him, dear?” was her brilliant contribution. What does she think I’d do? Slap him and lock him in a room like they used to “in her day”?!? – GRRRRRR!

At the end of my tether, and unable to channel Zen Mum however hard I tired, I sought advice from my  greatest confidants – my DH and my Mum, and guess what they both said… “Oh yeah, he’s just like you” (I think Mum muttered something about revenge too) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know ‘they’ say what we detest in others is a mirror of what we are like ourselves, but I was quite astounded by this. And if it’s even half true, my DH deserves a medal.

So my task for the next week (half term) is to find an effective way to deal with the tantrums …. and to work on being less independent myself. Tips welcome.

BLM

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